To those reading this: The families that I meet with share some of their deepest thoughts, experiences and feelings over which we form trust and understanding. Transparency on my part is important to my work, morals and accountability. It is my hope that the following post is read with the same love and compassion that I try to give those around me.
Growing up I spent my Summers in dusty barns and roaming the two-tracks on our 7 acre property in the thumb of Michigan. We had horses, numerous random mutts that stopped-in to eat dishes of food set-out for the barn cats and a pond that came with it’s own set of 100yr. old folklore. Hunting whitetail was an annual family tradition, and I was the best shot in the household. As a student learning came easily; most of my greatest lessons have come from outside of a classroom.
My peer group was varied and vast. Little to my awareness, my journey to becoming a birth worker began with the relationships I was forming with others. In an effort to help & connect, I found myself drawn to the outcasts, the lonely and those needing protection. I wanted to nurture the often vulnerable and loving person underneath of rough or unusual exteriors. Part of me has always hoped to be met with the same compassion, though I rarely treated myself this way.
Later into my high school years I became less captivated by my studies and extra curriculars. I knew I was searching for something, anything bigger than back roads and Friday night football games. Becoming a Mother at this time in my life was everything BUT wildflowers and the perfect circumstance. In fact, seeing two pink lines after class of my very first day as a Senior was nauseating in more ways than one. Nonetheless, I put my feet to the pavement, mind to the matter and completed school with my diploma 6 months early. I walked graduation Commencements with my Class in June – less than 2 weeks after my first Son was born. I carried him across the stage with me to face the very person that told me becoming a Mother so young was a mistake. Becoming a Mother then, and now 3 more times, are by-far the most ground breaking moments of my life.
It was shortly into my young-adult life that I began to struggle under the weight of responsibilities I naively underestimated. I eventually began to use alcohol to cope, which led to many mistakes and subsequent dependency. Alcohol addiction swept over my soul like the dark storms rolling across the fields of my hometown that I would watch from our front porch with my Father. He often held my hand during those storms, and he did through my active alcoholism as well.
I am currently well into my 7th year of continuous sobriety. My past experiences would be for nothing if I don’t share hope with others that are still struggling with addiction. As a birth worker there is a special place in my heart and practice for the families currently in, or seeking recovery from addiction. There is no room for judgement at Northern Sun Birth Services whether or not you are currently pregnant. I will support you and your partner in finding a healthier path for your family if you can find the courage to open up. If I don’t have the answers, I have the resources to help.
I hope sharing this part of my story here is received well. The strength and courage needed to save my own life is something I am proud of. If you or someone you love is struggling, please don’t face it alone any longer, feel free to message me any time.